Tuesday, July 27, 2010

New Heights!

This stuff hella works! Last night as I was doing my kicks in front of my stove timer, I noticed how much higher my legs are soaring (like, a foot above my counter top!). Hells yeah!

The best part was, my brother, who just flew in from Spain, who I haven't seen since January (right before I started PCP) said I look like a yoga teacher! Thanks Sanj! Is there a better compliment?

On the mental front, I'm seeing significant improvements. I have way more patience - with my students, with my body as I'm stretching, even as I'm moving around the city. I no longer rush, shout at rude men who holler, threaten to beat people (even if they deserve it), show up early to places, or panic about being late.

I'm relieved about this because I just came off a week of serious low energy, in which I skipped two workouts completely, then did 1/2 of the exercises for Days 68-69. It was weird. For the first time in like seven months, I couldn't get my body to move. I mean, either I flake on my workout or I don't. Stopping half-way never occurs to me...I suppose I was rolled up in a combo of mental and physical exhaustion.

I think what inspired me to crawl out of the depths of this hot, lonely, sad valley was seeing Miss Peaky Keen Hottie ELENA at the Co-op. That girl rules, and so do her biceps!!

Hoping I can keep riding this wave of high energy!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Whatchu fightin' for?

I had a crappy day. Got some bad news, didn't have enough food at lunch, couldn't write to save my vida, and come workout time, just when I was ready to blast off some steam, the pain, the stiffness behind my knee, made my kicks limp and the stretches short and sad.

The good news is I fought through and didn't quit (dude, I was so close, though). However, my quiet rage transformed the bouncing balls into targets of the worst kind. I.e. the balls became faces. One after another, all the people who have wronged me just started popping up and boinging around, and yes, despite my totally ahimsa state of mind, I started busting those suckas like there was no tomorrow. That disturbed me a little, but this happens. Mental slips, diet slips, meditation slips. Slip and slide! Have a piece of dark chocolate and move on!

The even better news is that the Jersey Housewives have also been learning how to defend themselves. Peep it! It looks like Teresa is preparing her little girls for future beefs (I hope no table turning) via tae kwon do lessons, in which Papa Joe also participates (dude those girls are badasses already!), and Danielle is under the impression that the other wives want to murder her (was it really necessary to bring the kids into the ring, D?).

All in all I think the women had great form and fought with tremendous heart!

Yeah, I know, this show is about as good for you as that malitol syrup I failed to successfully digest, but I just needed to get out of my head for a minute, and this show did the trick.

Got me thinking about women, fighting, defending. Pushing through when things are bleak, when you think you have nothing, when you think no one is on your side, when you're fighting in the dark, by yourself, with yourself. Ultimately, even if you have the best coaches on the planet, the best shoes, the best right hook the world has ever seen, you have to believe in yourself, right?

BUT IT REALLY HELPS if from time to time, someone tells you how great you're doing!

So here's to TEAM CRANE and all the brave men and women of KFB, the Pilot Season. You guys are warriors!!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Meditating, Malitol

Yesterday I had a massive sugar craving, and decided to give into my desire for something sweet.

Rather than pick something KFB friendly, like an extra piece of fruit with honey, I went balls out and decided to consume something as far from nature as Heidi Montag's new profile. You see, I wanted chocolate. Why didn't I just get a nice little piece of the high quality dark stuff? Because I'm greedy, and I wanted quantity. I wanted to stir something in my yogurt, perhaps the morning iced coffee. I was thinking ahead, you see.

Um. BARF. This stuff tastes like metal. No wait, like licking the barrel of a gun. It's like swallowing aluminum. The label says it's "fortified with vitamins and minerals" so I guess making the goop taste like it came straight outta a coal mine makes sense. Sure it's brown and pretty smooth but the word chocolate is pure false advertising. I guess this is what I (and my stomach - hello malitol poisoning) deserve for trying to satisfy an urge for 16 calories a tablespoon!

As far as meditation goes, it's actually getting a bit harder for me, as opposed to easier. I feel this way about some of the exercises, too, or are my standards just getting higher as we go through this?

I've been very distracted as I try to sit in silence. And I could hardly hold the diamond stretch this week.

I can blame the bar, the noise outside, but there's something going on in this head of mind that's far from peace. I can't quite describe it! Maybe there's something I'm resisting?

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Creative Juices!

No, this isn't a post about ways to rev up your fruit grams, it's about KFB and writing!

I haven't been feeling the itch to blog it out as much, not only because this program is so comprehensive, so gradual and surprising that sometimes I don't know where to begin, but because it's totally unlocked my inner novel writing genius. Hells yeah!

I don't know what it is - the stretching, the routine, the meditation, or all of these things combined - but for the last few days I've been working on my book for 6 hours a day, and loving how drained and zapped I feel after a good session. And I'm trusting myself more - taking the plot in directions I'd like to see, rather than trying to please an imaginary audience. Because when I do that, the writing kind of sucks. Kind of like when I push myself too hard, I get hurt, dude!

Surprisingly, the workouts aren't suffering too much - I trip a bit more on the jumping, and I'm hitting the ball less on the targeted punches and kicks - but when I get to the stretches, my body is so thankful that I'm giving it everything it needs.

Ever since getting back on the diet (ok, a beer might have fallen into my belly this weekend, and I went a little nuts with the pumpkin butter that I mixed in with my yogurt, all the while rationalizing that it was really just helping me fulfill my vegetable quota...creative, aren't we?), I've been feeling more centered, which I think has influenced my writing. I push through the scenes that are difficult like I push through the punches. I don't have to tell myself to write everyday, like I don't have to tell myself to eat more veggies, because I know how good I feel when I do, and the sensation is addictive.

Of course, I would like to be getting more sleep, and I could do a better job of preparing meals (I've been doing a lot of canned stuff - sardines and corn - after putting in extra hours at the writing studio), but I think I'm over the wild cookie phase. At least for now...

I hope the KFB is unlocking some creative force in all of you?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Happy Birthday, USA.

I so partied like a typical American this weekend. High fructose corn syrup is coursing through my veins.

Not only have I fallen off the wagon, I'm so far down I'm eating dirt. I'm so down I can see the underbelly of this wagon, and it's a scary, swollen, hot and bothered belly (possibly lactose intolerant. Thank you homemade ice cream!)

Saturday morning I felt strong and in control after my workout despite the intense heat. Then, at a rooftop party on Saturday night, I was like, KFB what? Sure, I stuck with the veggie dishes first. Then, I didn't.

There were some snickers from friends (so how's that diet going?) as I consumed the following: brownies, cookies, chocolate cake, ice cream, and let's not forget the sangria. There might have been more. Sunday, I woke up feeling like a sugar truck had just run me over and stolen my brain. I was so foggy, so thirsty. So what did I do at a friend's BBQ that afternoon? That's right, round 2! Corona (Cerveza Mas Fina, indeed), ice cream, the works.

More regret this morning, and sluggishness from the heat. I'm sucking on an ice cube, trying to stay positive about how I can learn from these unhealthy few days.

Truthfully, I'm plain ashamed and depressed. And wondering why I can't get a handle on temptations this time around...