Friday, July 16, 2010

Meditating, Malitol

Yesterday I had a massive sugar craving, and decided to give into my desire for something sweet.

Rather than pick something KFB friendly, like an extra piece of fruit with honey, I went balls out and decided to consume something as far from nature as Heidi Montag's new profile. You see, I wanted chocolate. Why didn't I just get a nice little piece of the high quality dark stuff? Because I'm greedy, and I wanted quantity. I wanted to stir something in my yogurt, perhaps the morning iced coffee. I was thinking ahead, you see.

Um. BARF. This stuff tastes like metal. No wait, like licking the barrel of a gun. It's like swallowing aluminum. The label says it's "fortified with vitamins and minerals" so I guess making the goop taste like it came straight outta a coal mine makes sense. Sure it's brown and pretty smooth but the word chocolate is pure false advertising. I guess this is what I (and my stomach - hello malitol poisoning) deserve for trying to satisfy an urge for 16 calories a tablespoon!

As far as meditation goes, it's actually getting a bit harder for me, as opposed to easier. I feel this way about some of the exercises, too, or are my standards just getting higher as we go through this?

I've been very distracted as I try to sit in silence. And I could hardly hold the diamond stretch this week.

I can blame the bar, the noise outside, but there's something going on in this head of mind that's far from peace. I can't quite describe it! Maybe there's something I'm resisting?


  1. I love your writing. Do you blog anywhere else, by any chance? Because if so, I'd love to know the address, so I can go over to it and subscribe straight away.

    I've had that sugar free chocolate syrup before (my grandparents used to buy it), and you're right--it's a nasty excuse for "food." It wasn't terribly long ago that my mom and I were helping clean out my grandpa's refrigerator and we found a bottle of sugar free chocolate syrup from like 9 years ago. It was simultaneously hilarious and kind of appalling--no food should last for 9 years looking & smelling the exact same as it did on Day 1. (Neither of us tasted it, though I suspect it probably tasted the same too.) We promptly threw it away.

    I hope your meditation goes better and that the internal static eases a bit. :)

  2. I'm also having trouble with stretches this week. I feel I should be getting deeper into the positions but I can't.

  3. Ya'll's standards are getting HIGHER! This is good news, for you can only be disappointed with a stretch or exercise if you know how it's supposed to feel, and you can only know how it's supposed to feel if you've put the time and energy into practicing it. So good for you.

    I've noticed that metallic taste in so many processed foods, but the people around me don't seem to be able to detect it. Get yourself some dark chocolate and move on!

  4. Don't you find it weird that the lesson to satisfy want is so hard to learn? I so often kick myself afterwards for wanting x, but thinking I shouldn't, so I settle for Y, which ends up being both worse for me and less satisfying than X?


    I'm not so sure that it's getting harder so much as your expectations are more rarefied ...

  5. Ahh...Chocolate. I shouldn't have read your post - I'm craving it right now. I'll take Patrick's advice.